My Journey Begins
July 10th, 2006
My prime purpose in writing this journal is to give a contemporary account of my own day to day experiences, firstly on being told that I have the big “C” and then, how I decided to attack the problem and my rationale for doing it the natural way. I sincerely hope that it may assist other men undergoing a similar dilemma or at risk of doing so.
Please come back periodically as I will be massaging each category regularly and as new information comes to hand.
Numerous accounts from men who have gone through the experience are available on the web but I have not yet found one that is in a diary format, like this one.
With few exceptions, the first emotion to hit a guy when told he has prostate cancer is FEAR. This fear is invariably re-enforced and heightened by the medical practitioners, stressing the need for urgent action, either immediate surgery; a prostatectomy, radiotherapy or chemotherapy. Thus ignoring that prostate cancer is a slow growing cancer and even in the worst case scenario, would not require a panic reaction. There is always time to evaluate all the options.
There is no reason for any panic. Fear is cowardly and very injurious. Cheerfulness increases resistance and prevents complications.” Public Health Bulletin – Influenza epidemic of 1919.
If this journal does nothing other than to encourage men to take a step back, do their own research and evaluation, talk to family and friends, accumulate knowledge and insight and then, to make a well considered and informed decision, devoid of misconceptions and half-truths, then I will be content.
“Statistically, life expectancy of untreated cancer patients is greater than treated ones”
Hardin Jones. MD. Former President of the American Cancer Society.
I hope my story will be of benefit to you, the reader. Your comments will be most welcome….
The story to follow may at first appear to be a sorry tale indeed – as I journey where many thousands, perhaps millions, have gone before, facing the many challenges of a big “C” diagnosis, – but I will endeavour not to make it so. Meanwhile, I’d like to invite you to travel this road with me, to experience not only my ups and downs, but also the exciting prospect of defeating and destroying this obnoxious, malignant growth within my body. As you will soon realize, my combat strategy is not of conventional medical means but by way of metaphysics and spiritualism, (though in my case – not of the religious variety) together with holistic therapies: incorporating homeopathy, naturopathy, meditation, and any other form of help that more enlightened people and the wonderful world of nature itself can offer me.
I can sense a few raised eyebrows in response to that statement but please, believe me when I say that my decision to try the holistic approach is a well considered one. This cancer scenario is not new to me as you will discover later and I have had many years in which to keep track of the considerable inroads being made in the fight against cancer on both fronts, medical and alternative. But that being the case, he says in a cynical tone, I also note that despite the thirty billion dollars used up each year, particularly in drug company sponsored research programme’s, no finite solution has been found.
Now I for one find that very strange indeed and it makes me really sceptical as to the true intent of the drug and pharmaceutical companies involved. We might explore this aspect more in weeks to come and I only allude to it now to illustrate some of my decision making thought processes.
However, let me hasten to add that my blog is not about setting one therapy mode against the other. That certainly is not my intention. But neither will I hide from the realities faced by everyone diagnosed with the big ‘C’. I will tell it as I see it from a lay person’s viewpoint, and let you, the reader, determine its logic and veracity.
Indeed, despite my somewhat cynical view of the cancer industry as a whole I am not blinded to the many good, ethical research institutions and individuals who are doing their damnedest to bring an end to this scourge. Similarly, I identify and respect the position medical practitioners finds themselves in having to work primarily with information and tools given them by the drug and pharmaceutical companies or with peer group feedback regarding what amounts to, the trial and error treatment of patients. Treatments that have little foundation in science but in guesswork, personal experience, intuition and prejudice.
That being the case, no amount of good intention, sincerity of purpose or applied ethics on the part of the medical professional can overcome his lack of bona fide weaponry.
Anyhow, enough of all that. No doubt we’ll come back to it later. Let us now start this journey of ours. I want first to review events that brought me to do this blog and then explore some of my medical background so as to give you some perspective.
In June of this year (2006), I was diagnosed with a very aggressive and inoperable prostate cancer. I was posed with the anguish of not only absorbing this unseemly news and all that that entails, family wise, but also with analyzing my urologist’s diagnosis and the clinical options available to me. My urologist described my cancer as being a grade 9 on the Gleeson’s scale of 1 to 10, a very aggressive cancer with a high probability of having already metastasized to other parts of my body, particularly the areas in the immediate vicinity of my prostate, such as the seminal vesicle.
His overview of my situation was quite thorough and he was open to my questions. He produced a booklet titled “Localised Prostate Cancer” which is a guide for men and their families, published by the Australian Prostate Cancer Collaboration. Opening it he explained the various contents, page by page, at the same time writing in my personal findings, PSA levels, Gleason score, etc.,
This document I found to be most valuable when later re-visiting my own deliberations.
Although a subsequent CT and bone scan has not evidenced any spread to-date, the aggressive form of cancer present has a high incidence of early microscopic spread.
He candidly stated that he was unwilling to perform a radical prostatectomy to remove the prostate as he was of the opinion that that would be futile in the circumstances. He went on to further discuss my options and opined that brachytherapy, the insertion of a radiation source in the form of hollow needles inserted into the prostate – which are then zapped with a high dose of radiation – would be the preferred option, together with Hormone treatment.
We then discussed some of the potential side affects from each procedure but I noted reluctance on his part to highlight the worse case scenario’s for each, but which I already knew about. Understandable perhaps, in that different patient’s will no doubt respond in many different ways on being told they have cancer and the medical practitioner will need to tread a fine line, not knowing just how much information is necessary, appropriate or justified. I have read stories from individuals who have admitted that once given the diagnosis by their doctor the rest of the consultation was spent in a haze with nothing being remembered of the details later.
However, that was not so in my case as I had half expected the diagnosis, for reasons I’ll explain later. Moreover, having spent many a year in the corporate environment and also later, as a specialist consultant to multi-nationals and governments giving advice on security and crisis management issues; predicting, analyzing and managing life threatening scenarios, I have, in more recent times, been able to apply that same philosophy and experience to my own medical risk situation. Together with my research, that meant that what was now confronting me was not, therefore, a surprise.
It was suggested that a second opinion might help but I declined. Much of my research had indicated that, more often than not, second medical opinions from other specialists, each pushing there own agenda, tended to confuse issues rather than clarify them.
Besides, I had already formed an action plan in my mind and as it did not include conventional remedies, there was not much point going down that road.
“There is surely a strange confusion of causes and conditions in all this. It may be said, indeed, that without bones and muscles and the other parts of the body I cannot execute my purposes. But to say that I do as I do because of them, and that this is the way in which mind acts, and not from the choice of the best, is a very careless and idle mode of speaking.
I wonder that they cannot distinguish the cause from the condition, which the many, feeling about in the dark, are always mistaking and misnaming.”
Plato: Phaedo
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